Mar 4, 2017
One Boss Copped a Feel, One Made Me Into a Dude: Becoming ‘Out’ in the Workplace
Being our authentic self at work ought to be a choice we make on our own terms.
53 percent of LGBTQ workers in the US hide their sexual identity at work.
83 percent of LGBTQ persons “cover” some part of their sexual orientation or gender identity in the workplace.
The majority of LGBTQ people have experienced forms of discrimination or hostility at work because they are LGBTQ.
Nearly one in ten LGBTQ employees has left a job because the work environment was unwelcoming.
Choosing to forsake the closet during one’s career seems at first a black-or-white state of being: either you are ‘out’ or not. We rarely discuss a grey middle ground, describing degrees of coming out in different work environments or stages of one’s career. We have come to expect that LGBTQ+ advocates will encourage employees to be out in both their personal and professional lives whenever possible. This lacks nuance. A more accurate depiction of reality is that being out in the workplace falls within various shades of grey.
Elodie Palluet is Vice-President of the Montréal branch of the Québec LGBTQ Chambre of Commerce, and she shared her experiences passing through shades of grey as a sexual minority while working in marketing and communications. She recounts three periods in her career, ranging from the unpleasant to the honourable, that will likely seem all-too-familiar to many Lesbian women in business.
Third time’s the charm
For many sexual minorities deciding if and when to come out in the workplace is an anxiety provoking experience. Some choose to dive right in by inserting a few words in workplace banter about their partner or their weekend plans to watch re-runs of Ru Paul’s drag race. Others plan intricate strategies on how best to broach the topic and wrestle with determining the best time to bring it up. For Elodie, after working at a company for some time she was ready to shine light on her authentic self while on a business trip on the other side of the continent.
Once was more than enough for this type of experience in the workplace. With her new job nabbed, she decided to follow a more direct approach to being her authentic self at work, this time accepting zero bullshit.
Early on in her training she casually mentioned that she shares her life with a woman and wanted to know if that might be an issue for the company; if indeed this was problematic, she wanted to point out that she was not best suited for the job. The response from her boss was one of being mystified; not only was this not a problem, he did not comprehend why she felt a need to formally come out to him and share this information. He assured her that one’s romantic partners was a non-issue in this work environment.
This was a welcomed response to say the least. However, day-to-day life in the office became less than ideal, where the pendulum of inclusion swung too far in the other direction. In the percept of her boss, being lesbian meant Elodie was “one the guys”, being yet another dude in the office to exchange comments about sexy chicks.
Groan.
First objectified, then labeled a honorary dude, her third march towards a better workplace proved most fruitful. From the start of her new position she was out to her colleagues and led diversity initiatives at work; outside of work confines, she acquired a leadership position in her city’s branch of the LGBTQ Chambre of Commerce, advocating for the needs and representation of professionals like herself in the Québec business sector. Her role within the organization enabled her to be an educator, a go-to expert for businesses wanting to establish a welcoming environment for LGBTQ+ employees and customers. Now a stoic guide for other LGBTQ+ professionals climbing the ranks in their career, her being an out and confident employee proved contagious. It gave the green light to other professionals to be their true self and feel confident to announce who they are, whomever they may be.
Being “pro choice” with workplace diversity
What advice should we offer to LGBTQ+ professionals concerning their progression of being out in their career? Elodie experiences remind us that in the process of coming out at work everyone has their own rhythm, unique history, and needs. There is no right or wrong way to do it. When you are ready, it happens, and allies like Elodie will be there to applaud your decision.
Elodie emphasized that our fight for greater LGBTQ+ rights and protections in the workplace is not about the right to be ‘out’, per se. Instead, we continue to fight hard for the choice to show the professional person we want to be in the workplace, and this choice should not be fraught with judgement from fellow colleagues. We must understand and respect the fact that many LGBTQ+ members will pass through phases with unique challenges. Each phase represents a period of growth during our career trajectory.
Elodie also had us reflect on the possible tensions some LGBTQ+ employees encounter when balancing discordant personal and professional identities. For some, the workplace is a refuge, being a safe space that is more accepting of diversity than that found in one’s community or even home; this indeed was the case for Elodie, where she was out to her colleagues long before her family. The importance of the workplace in people’s lives should thus never be underestimated. Sure, many hold the perception that work and personal life merit a tall wall that segregates the two. However, a work environment that is open and empowering can liberate a person from the dark confines of a closet and counter the pains of being ostracised by a homophobic community or family. Our ultimate goal, then, is to build diverse and inclusive a workplaces where employees, regardless of seniority or power, have unadulterated freedom in their choice to be out or not.
More about Elodie Palluet and her presentation for Queer Tech Montréal
Elodie recounted her professional life speaking in her native language, French. I , the author, provide here a freestyle translation of her spoken words with minor edits to help place her words in context; I tried my best to preserve her ‘voice’ and vernacular.
She was one of three presenters at our event, Being Your Authentic Self at Work. Here are the perspectives of our two additional speakers:
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More about the professional life of Elodie
Elodie Palluet, marketing and communications manager at KEYRUS Canada, is Vice-President of the LGBT Chamber of Commerce of Québec. Prior to joining the IT industry, Elodie acted as a marketing director in the paper industry and as a marketing advisor for a marketing research agency. She holds an M.Sc. in marketing (HEC Montréal) with a mention of honour for her research and conference presentations.
